From a heart that has shed many tears, I can tell you that going through "the fire" isn't easy. There are times in life when God draws us into an uncomfortable place...whether for a moment or a season.
Imagine a fiery wall built up all around you. Your vision is blurred, your senses play tricks on you and nothing makes sense. It seems as if no one is around and you are left to fend for yourself. Abandonment. Your heart is affected most severely...it breaks and wants nothing more than to escape. You long to find some kind of relief - even if it's temporary. All the while, you have voices surrounding you on every side - "give up," or "move on"...some say, "hang in there" and "keep fighting."
There is a saying that is said in may different ways, but the essence of it is - "Anything worth having is worth fighting for." After listening to many different voices and opinions of how to get yourself out of the fire, this phrase seems empowering. It seemingly offers hope and strength when all that you've previously known seems to have disintegrated into ashes.
But I want to pose this as somewhat of a counter-question...When we're in the uncomfortable place of refinement - where God strips us of ungodly things and makes us more like Him...What are we fighting for? To take it a step further...who are we fighting?
Are we fighting back the tears that don't seem to end? The tears that flood from your heart when your eyes dry up. Are we fighting to be strong for the voices surrounding us and the eyes recording our every move? Or...are we fighting against God for what we feel has been taken away from us?
I would argue that, more often than not...we pick the wrong battles. I'm learning that the fight is against ourselves.
We must fight the desire to hold onto what God is trying to free us from. Fight the inclination to entertain any voice other an God's. Most importantly, we must fight -daily- to nurture our connection with God. He is our Source of life...He promised to "guide [us] along the best path for [our] life. [He] will advise [us] and watch over [us]." (
Psalm 32:8)
If the best path for my life is through testing and trials to make me more like (and closer to) Him...I surrender, knowing full well that it won't be easy and it'll be the furthest thing from comfortable...But so was the cross.
Lord, make us better. Send Your refining fire.
Living in the United States allows us the freedom to choose a religion (at least by law). Although we are granted the freedom legally, there are many reasons why we choose (or choose not) to follow a religion. The following are reasons I have used to justify being a Christian.
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Escaping Hell. Anyone who knows anything about hell would understand why becoming a Christian would be an intelligent decision. Since John 3:16 says that all I had to do was “believe” in order to escape hell, I had decided that I believed.
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Lack of Responsibility. Hell was taken care of because I believed. If I sinned, I knew Jesus would forgive me. So, no matter what I did – I believed that I wasn’t going to hell.
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Expectation. Since I was raised by a family professing to be Christian, naturally – it made sense that I would also proclaim to be one. It was the religion I was most familiar with and I knew the traditions and practices of the faith. Besides, I was confirmed so I was obligated to be a Christian – right?
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Being a Good Person. Aside from my family expecting me to be a Christian, I wanted to be considered a good person. Most good people are “Christians” and so if I was a Christian – that automatically made me a good person. Jesus was a good person, so following Him means I had to be a good person too. While being a good person, I often looked at those who weren’t and pointed out how much better I was because I did what was good.
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Rewards. Good people are often rewarded. If I prayed and asked for something, God would give it to me – right? Why wouldn’t He? I’ve heard a million times, “ask and you shall receive.” Who doesn’t enjoy gifts? Bring them on!
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In-Crowd, Identity. Who doesn’t want to belong? Since the U.S. has a history of being a Christian nation – it has been safe to be a Christian and easy to find others that identify themselves in the same manner. To be a Christian has been to have a recognizable/familiar identity and to have a network of “brothers” tied together that were always “available” to help you.
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A Fix for Bad Times. Who really wants to keep walking through bad times? Let’s face it – realistically, we are a people who like to complain…especially if you live in the tundra like I do. So, if God is a healer or provider – I will go to Him in hard times and ask for help. When things are going well though, I didn’t need Him as much though.
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Singing and Dancing. I started dancing to country music (I didn’t have a choice in the matter) when I was just a young lass and I started singing in choir when I was in third grade. Music has always held a special place in my heart. Attending a church that allows you to sing and dance during worship was like hitting the jackpot. If that’s what being a Christian meant – I was hooked.
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Supernatural Works. Who wouldn’t want to make people come alive after they’ve already been pronounced dead? Who doesn’t want to be able to tell the future? I do! Who doesn’t want to be able to make an arm grow back? This stuff all sounds like magic. Magicians are typically credited as being amazing! I wanted this kind of attention.
Hell sounds crazy scary – naturally we would want to escape it. We want to meet the expectations of others and please our family/friends. Being considered a good person is important to us, but there are plenty of bad people who call themselves Christians – or…plenty of Christians who do bad things. No one wants their efforts to go unnoticed, we all like to be recognized. Everyone wants to be accepted instead of ostracized or alienated. Where do we turn when we experience pain if no one is around? I need someone to help me when times are hard – I need some comfort and relief. I want to jump around and sing at the top of my lungs sometimes – just because I can. And I want to do crazy things that people have never seen before. But we all want to do that stuff…we all want this.
But for me, these reasons weren’t enough to keep me around very long. These things are what most people know about Christianity and they don’t stick around either. As a people, we want more – and if this is what it means to be a Christian, it's too cheap of a religion. Count me out, I don't want to be a Christian.